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what is life??
can someone tell me??
i guess when a person is born...
his life.. or we should call it destiny...
is already fixed...
whether he is a popular guy.. liked by many others...
or a lone ranger... that no one realli cares about...
life is a repetition...
the person i have lost to b4...
now.. i am still losing...
how can i break this cycle...
or can i possibly break it?
or am i destinated to be a loser...
a loser for the rest of my life...
training as hard as i can...
using all sorts of methods..
learning from different pple...
but some just play as when they feel like it...
no matter how much i have improved..
or more correctly should be...
how much I FEEL i have improved...
and no matter how poor they have become...
i am still losing...
when it comes to competition...
is it an unbreakable rule set by the god up there???
that whoever the almighty feels should be the one...
he should be it...
and no one should ever replace him
is it realli so??
even if that is the case...
the lord almighty....
i tell u...
i shall nv give up..
i will nv ever give up...
i will fight till the end...
where the victory finally belongs to me...
i hope that it's a dream...
a dream that can go on forever...
so that i will nv wake up...
nv need to face the realities...
everything is so beautiful..
there are mists all around...
everything seemed to be so unreal...
but i like it...
i like to dream on...
to enjoy the 'ruleless' world of my own...
life is being so wonderful...
i am starting to feel that this is real...
the dream is real!
the world is so perfect...
everyone gets wat he wans...
and does wat he wans...
even if there's disappointment...
just remind urself it's just a dream...
and everything will be ok...
everything will be ok....
everything will be fine...
things are getting tougher is ntu..
the lectures are going faster anf faster..
tutorials getting more and more difficult..
if i carry on like this..
i will be lost in the mist!!
must try and catch up with time liao
life has been the same...
me don't wan to be a slacker, like wat i am in jc..
but i still keep falling asleep in lectures..
must sleep more in the night...
ntu open tabletennis is starting..
doubles partner got liao...
but still haven't find a mixed doubles partner..
friday deadline..
but don't join mixed also good..
can concentrate on other 2 events..
esp. singles..
i will treat it as a formal competition..
as a test for myself..
mentally and skill wise..
JIAYOU!
haiz.. so many tutorials to do!
yet the notes only teach so little!
how to do!
i realli headache liao!
haiz..
todae lost to jenson and hanchong....
why?
the skill that i had slowly and diligently built up is all gone liao.. just in one week...
i realli regretted that!
haiz... i am a loser!
and i am still so shy to make new frens...
esp girls!!
arg!!
loser!!
heck care liao lah!!
just study hard and train hard!!!
i believe i can do it!!!
getting real busy lately!
lots of tutorials to do and self study modules to do!
have to train hard also!
must learn to manage my time well!
first day of sch in ntu is quite boring xia..
freshmen welcome ceremony last till 3pm..
after that i went back to my room..
and nothing to do..
roommate not here..
and so i walked around the sports and recreational centre..
and running track.. to take a look
after that return to my room again..
feel so xian, so i update this blog..
which is now..
planning to go for a run later..
after the run, wash up liao must start to look at the lecture notes...
so long nv study... hope can get into the mood fast!
i hated myself for not making enuff frens during the hall camp..
or else can ask them out for supper..
or anything fun... haiz...
this week, i have been undergoing hall6's orientation camp!
the first day, felt very awkward, but subsequently, it was better, i am not those outgoing type, or those go pub chiong type, so i guess it's already quite good for me to integrate till this level.
we realli had a lot of fun..
realli have to thanx our senior in charge and seniors attached!
they are realli good!! lead us well and take care of us!
thanx a lot!!
haiz..
i feel so hopeless..
lost to mingxian 4-1 just now..
totally no fight..
he few years nv train liao still can win me..
and i am training everyday...
why?
why?
haiz...
am i realli that useless???
one day...
me alone... walking at the beach...
with me.. and only me...
and the seagulls flying across the sea...
looking at the blue blue sky...
enjoying the cool cool breeze...
step after step...
looking at my footprints, one after another...
all of a sudden...
i feel so lonely.. so lonely... ...
the water so green...
and the sky so blue...
the love that we've gone thru..
seemed to be so sorrowful..
i wish i can unknowingly...
quietly... swim to the deepest part of the sea...
to find out that u have already forgo me...
listening to the waves and wind..
looking at the clouds floating side to side...
is there any way...
that can let me....
realli forget everything...
"haizz..."
i realli wan to find a boat....
a small boat... that can bring me far far away from this beach..
a boat that can bring me to the centre of this blue blue sea..
but why am i always back to the same place...
back to this beach...
where i will think of u...
think of the blue blue memories...
that u had left for me....
(from david tao's 'sha1 tan1')
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